The 30 minute fall
by vala411
Summary: What happens during the 30 minutes that Loki falls while Thor and Dr Strange chat. (Part 1 of the Avengers Divergent AU)


**The 30 minute fall**

It was just a normal day in New York, well as normal as it could be when two Asgardian princes decided to pop in. "I swear I left him right here." Loki had told his brother who gave him a sceptical look.

"Right here on the sidewalk, or right there where the building is being demolished? Great planning." Thor had quiped at him and Loki couldn't help but roll his eyes. Honestly his brother looked ridiculous in those street clothes, not to mention that his hammer was now an umbrella. 'Why didn't you just let me change your clothes into a good suit like mine.' he thought as he tuned Thor's words out. Not long after something surprised Loki. A red-orange circle started appearing on the pavement under his feet.

"What are you doing?" He could hear his brother asking.

"This isn't me. Ah!" Loki said before he fell down into the hole. Loki had started falling through some dark abyss and did not see the hole close nor heard his brother whisper while finding a card that read 177A Bleecker St on it.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Loki shouted for the first two minutes of falling before he realized that he hadn't reached the bottom yet.

"Oh finally you stopped." A voice said from beside him. The trickster jerked in surprise and looked at the person that had suddenly appeared. He raised a brow as he took in the red and black spandex suit and the twin katanas.

"Who are you?" Loki asked as both continued falling.

"Why, I'm your friendly neighbourhood Deadpool." The man introduced as Loki frowned.

"Isn't that supposed to be Spiderman's line?" Loki muttered as the man in the red and black suit looked aghast. While Loki had spent a limited time on Earth he had familiarize himself with most of the heroes, not that it did any good in the end when Hulk had used him like a ragdoll.

"How dare you say that!" Deadpool shrieked. "I am very friendly and I'm in the neighbourhood!"

"So you know where _this_ is?" Loki then asked. The sooner he got away from this crazy person the better.

"This is here!" Deadpool shrugged. "I see no reason to dwell on the location." This caused Loki to raise a brow and mutter "So you have no clue where we are."

"Pretty much." The man shrugged and seemed awfully unconcerned about his present situation.

They kept falling and after some time Loki just had to ask "What did you do to keep falling like this?"

Deadpool shrugged and then thought "It might have to do with pissing off that Sorcerer Supreme, but who knows."

"What did you do?!" The Trickster looked at his falling companion with narrowed eyes.

"Oh he got all up in my face about leaving chimichanga crumbs on his chair!"

"That's it?" Loki asked.

"Well I also might have used his cape as a napkin, and used some priceless antiques as target practice." Deadpool thought. "But who knows with these types, ya know."

"These types?" Loki asked as he looked at the other man.

"You know the magic kind." Deadpool stated. "I've only had a few run ins with some meta-humans but that's it. Don't know why magic users are so uptight about everything."

"I'm a magic user." Loki couldn't help but say. He wanted to watch the man's reaction.

"Well that explains it all!" Deadpool shrugged.

"EXCUSE ME!"

Deadpool looked Loki up and down and wagged his finger "Nice suit, shiny shoes, an attitude!" He shrugged "You spell out magic user!"

"I do not!" Loki retorted. "How does wanting to dress nicely automatically make me a magic user!"

"Dude you don't get shoes to stay that shiny in New York!" Deadpool reasoned. "Not a speck of dirt on you either!"

Loki huffed but didn't say a word as he saw the man try to doggie paddle over to him. "What in blazes are you trying to do?"

"I just wanna see if you can get us out of here magic man." Deadpool told him as he reached Loki and slung an arm over his shoulder. "I'm getting hungry."

"Don't touch me!" Loki growled.

"Woah prickly!" Deadpool held his hands up in defense as Loki concentrated on his magic. A large green ball of light appeared in his hands and the trickster kept concentrating. When the light dissipated both people looked at the results.

"AAH A tambourine!" Deadpool shouted as he picked up the small instrument. "I always wanted one of these!"

"What are you going to do with that?" Loki asked and hoped that the man wouldn't start to sing.

"Why, jive of course!" Deadpool said as if it was the most obvious thing to do in the dimension where they kept falling. He then began to bang the tambourine on his palm and sang " _There she was just walkin' down the street. Singin', "Do wah diddy, diddy, dum diddy do"._ "

"What are you doing?!" Loki asked as Deadpool kept singing, very badly he mentally added. " _Snappin' her fingers and shufflin' her feet. Singin', "Do wah diddy diddy, dum diddy do_ "."

"Stop!" Loki growled and then shot a blast of magic at the tambourine, disintegrating it.

"Hey man! I was just getting in my groove!" Deadpool shouted.

"And I was going deaf!" Loki retorted. "Are you that bad with every instrument?"

I don't know." Deadpool shrugged and then he got an idea. "Say why don't we find out?"

"No!" Loki protested.

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"NO!" Loki crossed his arms.

"Yes to infinity!" Deadpool giggled as Loki gave the man a deadpan look.

"You won't stop until I give in huh?" Loki sighed.

"You got it daddy-oh!" Deadpool gave him a thumbs-up.

"Don't call me daddy-oh." Loki grumbled.

"Whatever you say Daddy-oh!" Deadpool answered again as Loki shot him an unamused glare.

"Let's just get this over with." Loki stated as he started conjuring up instruments. He would soon wish that he hadn't given in so easily. For the next twenty so minutes Loki growled, covered his ears, and promptly destroyed the instruments he conjured in a blaze of green fire. The last straw was when Deadpool began using the Lyre to sing Celine Dion songs.

"Will you shut up!" Loki finally shouted. He wondered how people could stand this guy.

"Oh come on, that wasn't so bad." Deadpool stated as he crossed his arms. "I think I have a real knack for the harp as well."

"Trust me you do not." Loki stated and wondered how long he still had to keep falling and where his idiot brother was.

"You made the harp sound like a screeching Vantir beast!"

"Is that a good thing?" Deadpool asked innocently.

"The screech of such a beast could kill an army of Asgardians!"

"Rocking!" Deadpool gave a thumbs-up as Loki continued to glower at the annoying man.

"How long do I have to keep listening to you!" loki growled out as Deadpool wouldn't stop talking.

Deadpool meanwhile shrugged. "Don't know, and since we're stuck here why don't you ever call me by my given name?"

Loki raised a brow. "You never gave it to me."

"I'm sure I did."

"You didn't."

"Oh well, call me Wade." Deadpool shrugged and then went on to chat about the gall Wolverine had to blow him off. Finally a small portal opened up underneath Loki again and as Loki fell through he could hear Deadpool shout "Great talking to you! We should do it again some time!"

'Norns NO!' Loki though as he hit the floor. He stood up, cracking his knuckles and saw Thor and the magician that supposedly had trapped him there. "I WAS FALLING FOR THIRTY MINUTES!" He shouted while brandishing his daggers.

 **-The End-**

 **AN: The song Deadpool sings is "Do Wah Diddy Diddy by Manfred Mann."**


End file.
